Death to Everyone, by John Robbins

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https://www.amazon.co.uk/Death-Everyone-John-Robbins-ebook/dp/B0CSC3F7Y3

This horror-comedy is careful not to exploit the cruelty of its dicey theme, favouring consistent light wit over crash-bang punchlines.

The word count is economical in this adventure of key protagonist Humphrey Hardly, himself a masterclass in writing the outsider. The tortured soul is deftly contrasted in public settings and interactions, but author Robbins gives Humphrey no pass in showing his culpability with vulnerability. The character performs brutal acts yet for the most its meandering pondering and uncertain tangents and doubts creating an undue sympathy, and centrally, a desire for him to succeed in his villain’s journey. Unsettling.

In a cast of wrong ‘uns there’s a danger-addict unprepared for normalising Humphrey, given she is his normal; a duo of sharp on menace and high on comedy enforcers; a looming big mob boss; a cluster of feral children, and a mouthy pub bore. Humphrey’s parents round out the cast and offer (shaky) grounding. The characters run the story with a common familiarity leaving me wondering if the author isn’t on real crime reporting here. Plenty of absurdity too. From home-life domestic to highway criminal, this here’s a mad journey.

Having honed his craft over decades of short stories, Robbins gives us a high-powered novella. It’s great to join him as he stretches his legs with longer-form prose. I’m left excited for the next thing.

Meanwhile, in 2023…

Andrew Leave a comment

This blog has been vacant a while but 2023 has been one of my most productive. I began the year finishing my commentaries on Occupied, the comedic protest novel set in Belfast.

If you have a Patreon account and subscribe for free these commentaries ought to show up.

In January, a poll went out on what readers wanted to see. They chose activist art, like the 5-track poetry EP…

Fun with MS Paint…

And a film about my life as an activist.

From a visual standpoint it makes the grade.

The poll set me to making Coastlines: After Dark, a series of short stories based on everything from Baywatch Nights to Garth Mahrengi’s Darkplace. The book is 2/3 done. Look out for the published collection in Autumn 2024, with a big-name introduction!

In April I began Half Baked Alaska. It’s the tale of a deepsea fishermen getting closer to an unusually large sea monster, which is in turn getting closer to them.

Oh, Discworld, Discworld! 2023 began with a look at ‘Sourcery’, and ended with ‘Witches Abroad’. Scriptwriter PJ Hart has read a lot of Discworld and I haven’t read much. We manage a near-monthly podcast (and videocast) talking about the books.

January of this year was extra special. You see, PJ and I have been in contact over 20 years but had never met. So you can see that meeting and an interview with Pratchett biographer Marc Burrows over here.

One of my goals for 2024 is to re-launch on YouTube with 200 seconds reviews on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. There are twenty episodes behind the Patreon paywall, a public debut on March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day.

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel at https://youtube.com/andrewluke. Please. I’m so lonely.
In April I’ll be posting reviews of the new Doctor Who.

And now, I’m off to work on Another Time, a YA novel by Holly Miles about life in an anti-choice Ireland. That’s scheduled for a January 2025 release. I hope we’ll talk before then.

If you’d like to sign up to Patreon, all content is shared at the ridiculously cheap £1 per month.

https://patreon.com/andyluke

If you want a sample, there is no charge until the 1st of the month. If its not your flavour, or finance woes hit, unsubscribe before then; no hard feelings. Though do say hello. It’s mostly nice to hear back from the world wide sphere. Or if you’re on a space station.

Lots of love to long ago
Andy

Wassup

Andrew Leave a comment

Patreon.com/andyluke is my home most of these days. Got to look after the paying customers first. And some times that finds its way to audiences.

Half Baked Alaska is my new novel, a thriller-comedy set in the Aleutians range circa 1950s. Serialisation is just beginning.

200 Seconds Sunny. A series of capsule audio-video reviews of Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We’re just beginning series 2. Good reception.

I’ve Never Read Discworld is a quite popular podcast series. We’ve previewed The Colour of Magic to Moving Pictures on Patreon. The series is free to listen (or watch) at anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld

Coastlines: After Dark are short stories inspired by Baywatch Nights, and badly made 80s/90s TV thrillers. Ten of them are published and they’ll be collected early in 2024 with a celebrity introduction!

Politics Aloud is an irregular podcast, seemingly salacious government inquiry documents read aloud for the busy political student. Scrutiny of Boris Johnson, Nadine Dorries and cronies of vitriol are at anchor.fm/politics-aloud

Patreon is also first where I disclose side projects:

Executive producer on Milvian Bridge: A one-hour audio play about the war of the emperors of Rome and the proliferation of memes. We have a star cast and a fabulous crew and we enter full production next week.

Co-editor on Holly Miles’ Another Time: An unsettling novel about Irish students’ struggles with women’s rights. At a guess, for a late 2023/early 2024 release.

Gerb Vids: Ongoing video series documenting my new baby gerbils, Troy and Abed. Shenanigans afoot!

123go! Comics’ Shootout at the Sugar Skull: There’s an epic western thriller coming to Sidereal Apogee comic, drawn by Jorge Luis Gabotto aka Hiroshi. Art previews up on there!

I’d really appreciate subscribers from $1 up, or people who can spread the word. My health has been poorly of late with epilepsy, flu and depression, so if you can pep me up where I need it most that’s the place to be. https://patreon.com/andyluke

[Comics] Occupied: Towards A Silent Night

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In October 2019 I decided to give the 24 hour comics another go. It was an honourable failure: sixteen pages in sixteen hours (within twenty-six hours) I’m happy with the results which formed the backbone for chapters 27-28 of the novel. So I present it for you now, and as a download if you prefer.

occupied-towards-a-silent-night-16hr-comicDownload

You can find out more about the book at https://andy-luke.com/occupied and order OCCUPIED direct from Amazon, and you should.

Book time podcasting!

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I learned last night our new bookcast, I’ve never read Discworld, made the Apple top 50 for UK book pods in September. O Team!

It was pleasant news after two days graft editing. There’s the new episode of The Drew and Look Podcast to come, in which I interview indie start-up SHP Comics about creative entrepreneurship, as well as sex, sci-fi and vampires. The Drew and Look has been on hiatus a while. Some months back, the interview with comedy horror novelist, Philip Henry, got a lot of love.

Sean Black is a household name: prime-time actor on stage and screen and linked to an unknown number of gruesome murders. Sean Black is the lead in METHOD, the creation of Philip Henry, a struggling dramatic novelist, film-maker and singer-songwriter.

Podcaster Andy Luke lures Philip to a remote country cottage to unravel his secrets. What emerges is a wide reaching conversation on writing, celebrities, romance, violence, ethics, feminism and Northern Ireland on screen.

The new episode is live on Patreon and I’ll be putting episode 2 of Discworld up there next week. It’s been a learning curve bringing in the video element on these series. Judging by the feedback on our first Discworld, people seem happy to wait.

My brother Gavin dumped his 15 Discworld duplicates on me in a big green canvas bag. In trying to procrastinate, I knew the reading experience ought to be chronicled and reached out to ask the internet for a co-host. Local writer PJ Hart responded: having read through most of the series and keen to revisit. And thus we became a legend in my own lunchtime.

https://anchor.fm/andyluke/episodes/Auteur-Philip-Henry-The-madness-in-his-METHOD-e1jfckn/a-a822jl6

‘It’s the fantasy version of The Wire.’

Experienced wizard PJ Hart guides the tourist Andy Luke through the first book in Terry Pratchett’s world: a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown); from the docks to taverns of Ankh-Morpork,to forests, temples and the edge of the world.

https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld/episodes/Ep-1–The-Colour-of-Magic-e1o0nop

Occupied extract: The Illuminati Man

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The morning after the strike the camp was thick with frost and the three girls in the marquee sat in a wafting mist. Regardless, there was colour in Cat’s cheeks. She and Jack were talking about where they went for bargain clothes. It transpired they each went to the same charity shops. Kiera said they dressed so differently she’d never have realised it to look at them. The interruption introduced himself as Alex. He was well groomed, and dressed in a sports coat and slacks, smiles and winks all round. Alex sat down a little too close to Jack for her liking, but she let it go. Alex kept his his options open, making eye contact with Cat.
‘God, yous are game, camping out in this weather. So are yous into politics then?’ he asked unironically.
Cat responded dryly, and disinterested. ‘Nah. Whatever gave you that idea?’
‘Ha! Did you hear about that strike yesterday?’ he asked.
‘Well duh,’ said Kiera.
‘They said the UK could be on the brink of another recession,’ said Alex.
‘That’s the word. Not just us: Europe, America, Asia,’ replied Jack.
‘Yeah. It’s all starting up again, honey. You’ve got to wonder.’
Eoghan zipped his tent closed and wandered up the path, bleary eyed.
‘Alright Eoghan,’ said Kiera.
‘It’s all engineered,’ said Alex.
‘Morning,’ said Cat.
‘What’s happening?’ asked Eoghan.
‘Am I detecting some animosity here?’ asked Alex.
Eoghan threw his head back, puzzled. ‘No. No animosity,’ he said.
‘It’s okay. Eoghan’s a friend,’ said Jack.
‘Oh. Just a friend? Nothing more?’ enquired Alex.
For a moment no-one spoke.
‘What’s up with you this morning? You’re looking worse for wear,’ noted Cat.
Eoghan sniffed. ‘Ah, just tired and fucked off.’
‘What’s the matter?’ she said.
‘Ach. The usual. You-know-who is sticking their oar in again and we’ve all this shit to do before the rally on Saturday and I haven’t had a day off this week.’
‘That’s what they want though, isn’t it? They all get together and decide,’ said Alex.
‘Same old shit,’ said Eoghan, and he began to pour out a bowl of cereal.
‘Wait. Who decides?’ said Jack.
‘Well, that’s it,’ said Alex. ‘Labour and Conservatives argue
over which of them go to war. They get India and Pakistan to agree to fight. It’s the Illuminati.’
‘Oh, the Illuminati?’ said Cat.
Eoghan moved slowly to take his seat.
‘It’s true. That’s how they see consensus. War: good for the economy, good for technology. We’re in the middle of things they set up three hundred years ago. Go and look it up on Wikipedia.’
‘Aye. Wikipedia it, Cat,’ said Jack sarcastically.
Kiera turned her face away from them and broke out in a huge grin.
‘I don’t think they’re capable of planning that far ahead,’ said Cat.
‘The Illuminati,’ said Eoghan. ‘A secret organisation causing chaos in the world, though not doing a very good job of disguising themselves.’
‘It’s true. This current situation is all carried out by finance capitalists pretending to look weak. They manufacture a narrative that they’re hard done by so that they can turn round and do it again in five years time.’
‘He has a point,’ said Cat.
Fred staggered out of The Love Shack, one shoe crushed under the weight of his sweaty heel. The new streams of drizzle slapped his creased face. He hobbled on the slimy path a bit before fixing his shoe. Eoghan looked at Alex with scepticism.
‘That’s balls. You’re saying they didn’t get caught with their hands in the till, but they wanted to get caught?’
‘They staged it. They rule us by division. Even this movement of yours! Capitalist society is run by the secret elite. They’re dedicated to preserving bloodlines –’
Eoghan mimicked an English aristocrat. ‘What? Capitalism is a boys club, filled only with the wealthy? And the rich people only marry other rich people? My god, does anybody know? Does Lenin or Trotsky know?’
Fred took a bowl and filled it with cereal and milk, and sat down next to Alex.
‘It’s fucking obvious,’ Eoghan ranted. ‘Princes marry Princesses, they become Queens and Kings. That’s the whole system staying in place!’
‘Alright Fred. Are you off somewhere?’ asked Kiera.
‘I’ve to sign on in ten minutes. It’s twenty minutes walk: uphill all the way.’
‘It served a logical purpose possibly at one time,’ said Eoghan, ‘but it wasn’t a great system. People were trying to overthrow it for years.’
‘Well it’s true,’ insisted Alex. ‘The Illuminati are going to take over the world and kill everybody.’
Eoghan raised his voice as he became increasingly frustrated. ‘There’s no such fucking thing as the Illuminati! Look. Have you ever read the books by Robert Anton Wilson?’
‘I don’t read books, said Alex.
‘You don’t read books? You don’t read books?’ yelled Eoghan.
Again, no-one spoke. Fred froze with his spoon before his mouth, milk dribbling off it.
‘Ah!’ exclaimed Alex. ‘Sure it’s all the fucking Jews anyway.’
Everyone was staring at him except for Fred who got to his feet and slammed his bowl and spoon onto the chair behind him, splashing milk onto Alex’s trousers. He glared at Alex. ‘That’s what I like to wake up to in the morning. A good old bit of anti-Semitism. Who doesn’t need a bit of beat-the-Jew over breakfast? Fuck this. I’m going back to bed.’

24 Hour Comic: Mixed Up Media

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Occupied: Mixed Up Media was my fourth 24 hour comic, following Gran, Absence and Don’t Get Lost. Created in Farset Labs in 2014 it served as a rough draft for Occupied chapters 11-12:

Optimising this for the web I followed the style Stephen Downey used at absencecomic.com. The images were merged in blocks of six with the easy free filesmerge.com making sure to keep altering the merge order as the display changed it in order of load. WordPress typically shaved 82% off image size but Freshtechtips provided a no-plug in solution: through settings to Media Settings and saving all image sizes to zero. The blocks of six were then re-saved to a 640 horizontal (maintaining aspect ratio) for efficient rendering, and re-merged.

This post was made possible by my supporters on Patreon before the three-month hiatus. The final version of prose novel Occupied is available to buy from Amazon in paperback, hardback and Kindle formats. Libraries and retailers, contact me about cheaper than Amazon stock. You can read more about the novel on this page on this website.

Quick plug for The Drew and Look Podcast: latest episodes on Hardwicke House and Press Gang are up at https://anchor.fm/andyluke

Press Gang – The School Edition (Part 1)

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New Podcast!

Comedy-drama Press Gang was widely hailed as one of the best YA telly series ever, attracting critical acclaim and industry awards. As well as featuring some of the best names in the business it launched a dozen careers including those of Stephen Moffat, Julia Sawalha, Dexter Fletcher, Lee Ross, Paul Reynolds, Gabrielle Anwar and Lucy Benjamin.

Occupied author Andy Luke’s feature presentation includes character studies and reviews of ten episodes from Series 1-2. You’ll also hear from roving reporters Ian Lawther, author Tristan Shephard and comics artists Simon Hodgkiss-Rogers and Peter Bangs.

Listen everywhere! (But here’s the Anchor.Fm Link!)

24 Hour Comic: The Spook

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Moved by Gran? Educated by Absence? Interacted with Don’t Get Lost? Then you’ll probably want The Spook. Created in Farset Labs in 2018, this served as a rough draft for Occupied chapters 7-8. Early pages are raggedy but it gets good hi-speed comixing:

Optimising this for the web I followed the style Stephen Downey used at absencecomic.com. The images were merged in blocks of six with the easy free filesmerge.com making sure to keep altering the merge order as the display changed it in order of load. WordPress typically shaved 82% off image size but Freshtechtips provided a no-plug in solution: through settings to Media Settings and saving all image sizes to zero. The blocks of six were then re-saved to a 640 horizontal (maintaining aspect ratio) for efficient rendering, and re-merged.

This post was made possible by my supporters on Patreon before the three-month hiatus. The final version of prose novel Occupied is available to buy from Amazon in paperback, hardback and Kindle formats. Libraries and retailers, contact me about cheaper than Amazon stock. You can read more about the novel on this page on this website.